Monday, February 25, 2013

oh hey i'm back.... again.

So, Rachel was going through and reading her journal from the beginning of the year today, and it made me want to go back and look at my blog from first semester. It seems like forever and a half ago to be honest. A lot has changed, but a lot is still the same. I never finished my thankfulness list (but what I had was still a good number of them... of course the list could probably go on forever)... and 4 months later, we've had Christmas, my birthday, valentine's day, and several weekends spent at home.

I never thought I'd say this, but I kind of miss high school Maggie. Yesterday, Alex and I were having a heart to heart and I was talking about how I don't think I've really ended up being the person I wanted to be and how there were parts of me that wanted to go back to how high school Maggie was. She said "I'm afraid for you to do that. What if I don't like high school Maggie? I became friends with college Maggie!" This made me really think... how different from high school Maggie is college Maggie? I mean, granted, in high school, I swore I'd make it to 21 before I had any alcohol... clearly that hasn't happened. I let Ben push me farther than I wanted to go, I've been swept away in peer pressure to do things I never wanted to do, but most importantly, I flushed my faith life down the toilet. Completely and utterly abandoned it. Sure, I went to mass, but that was about as far as it went. I went home for TEC 120 and that was definitely a good decision. It reminded me of what high school Maggie was all about. I need to live my life in the way that I've always planned. Glorifying God most importantly. And of course there's always the pressure to find a boyfriend... I swear I hear Alex or Rachel say "that guy would be perfect for you!" at least once a day about someone different. But to be honest, I'm trying not to dwell on it too much. I need to work on me and my relationship with God first. To attract the kind of man that I want, I need to become the kind of woman he would want. And I'm not there yet... which is fine. I have time to keep working on it. I had the kind of guy I wanted and there were parts of me that weren't ready to have that yet, so I need to get myself to a place that I can just leave it all to God. Slowly but surely, I'm getting there. Of course, parts of me are still the same. I just need to get my faith back in check and not be such a poser going along with the crowd. I was created with a unique and individual identity and I haven't been living up to that, at all. I need to accept who I am and what I'm comfortable with, and not let anyone else's thoughts on it get in the way.

In other news, anatomy is the worst thing ever, my other classes are jokes and exciting stuff keeps on happening! I'm trying to find a summer job now but hopefully I'll be a counselor for State Farm Day Camp or something.. I don't really wanna work retail or food services if I don't have to. I'm gonna try and blog more often again... it definitely is a good way to keep track of what I've been up to.

have i ever mentioned how much i love these freaks? honestly, they're my rock and i don't know who i'd be without them <3

rachel, shayna, katie (alex's sister) and me in chicago over christmas break :)

some of my lovely tec girls. i miss them so much.


soooooo thankful for jennnna przybylski. 

oh hey, i moved into rachel and nicoles room... 'temporarily' but probably for a while. its working out well! at least for me... i'm not sure how they feel about it.. but it was their idea!

haaaa. nicole took this on my phone but said she'd kill me if i put it on the internet. she'll never know.

me and my ladies at mardi gras <3