midterms.

This past week has been a crazy flurry of busyness and stress and struggle bussin hardcore. Laura came for a long weekend, which was wonderful! She got to experience the insanity that is SLU, ride the metro, eat Pickleman's and break the two biggest campus rules - picking flowers and running through a fountain! Then, once she left, it was time to study for my biology midterm, which actually didn't rape me as hard as I thought it would, thank you Mr. Taber. That same night, I had to write two papers and do math homework... it was swell. So I stayed up really late studying and such. Monday afternoon came and hit me like a runaway train. I got back from lunch and did laundry then I went to adoration, which is where it all started going downhill. I really really missed adoration, but it also made me question if I was making the decisions I really wanted to be making. I always had such high standards and expectations and now I'm kicking myself all over the place wondering if I'm lowering them or doing what I actually want. So I came back to my room after that and just sat by myself for a while and then started scrolling through Facebook. I saw that my friend Kate posted a status about the one year anniversary of her closest friend from the US's death. He was out kayaking with his friends last year in Lake Michigan and he got sucked into the current and his kayak flipped. They tried and tried to get him out but eventually it was just too late. It kind of struck me how short life can really be. Which made me think even more if I was living how I wanted to be. Out of nowhere, I felt incredibly homesick and eventually ended up crying myself to sleep, which sounds totally pathetic. Anyway, Ben came in like half an hour later and told me he didn't like how I wasn't being myself when we were in groups and he just wished I could be how I am with him around everyone else. He also told me that Christy and Montsy didn't think I liked them, which is so untrue. And I honestly am not acting any different except maybe more shy and quiet when we're in big groups... I don't even know. We'll see where this relationship goes, if anywhere. Right now, I honestly think he's avoiding me. He texts me back one word answers, hasn't come to talk to me once today and basically just completely ignored me when I was in the same room as him. It was super awesome. So yeah. That's my life. And then this morning, Alex had an appointment with the allergist to try and figure out what exactly she's allergic to. We met at the bus stop (and she brought me a muffin!) and then went over there and went through a huge, long registration process. When we finally got into the room,  we ended up sitting there with a 1st year fellowship med student who spoke very little english trying to solve Alex's case. We tried explaining a million times that it was rice crispy treats that caused the reaction and he just kept going "what? raspberries?" in a spanish accent. Eventually the real doctor came in, they stabbed her with a bunch of needles and guess what. Four hours later, after sitting, bored out of our minds, the results were "We don't know, call us again in two weeks, don't eat any rice, chocolate, peanut butter or gelatin in the mean time." So that was a great time. And now I'm here, in my super dark room, trying not to think about homework. Welcome to my life... it's a great time.