kiss and tell.

So, I went on a date last night. It was so uncharacteristic of me to be honest. Like, I always said I needed to be really good friends with a guy before we went out and I've known this guy for like a week. He's really good friends with my best friend Alex's roommate and he had a shitty roommate situation so he would always just hang out on our floor in their room, where I would also be since they have the comfy futon. Christy and Alex decided to play matchmaker and set us up, and guess what, it worked! I told them I thought he was cute, they told me he said the same thing and basically what happened is that we knew we were into each other and we would kind of snuggle but not really and then Tuesday night a group of us were watching a movie in their room and towards the very end of the movie, I put my head on his shoulder and then he put his arm around me and then it kind of escalated from there.... So then yesterday, he texted me and asked what I was doing that night and so he asked me out on a date :) It was kind of awkward at first... we were both really nervous, but I looked super cute, so that gave me some confidence. After a slightly uncomfortable meal where I got to know a lot more about him (he sails, his favorite color is green, he likes fruit, etc. - creep, i know), we went to his room to watch a movie. The catch is that he doesn't actually have a futon... just his bed. So we snuggled on his bed and watched The Notebook. Except I think I might have fallen asleep and something tells me he wasn't really paying attention. So it was really just an excuse to snuggle. Half way through the movie, his new roommate walked in and was like "oh shit, what's going on, man next time, just text me, sorry for interrupting" and it was really awkward and uncomfortable. Anyway... we were just laying on his bed (not in, don't worry!) and he kissed me. Like, not just a little peck on the lips. But it wasn't like full on making out either. It was just right. Best part? He actually showed self control and pull me back when it was too much, which doesn't sound like an important detail, but to me, it meant a lot. He might not have even been consciously doing it. But it happened... on the first date. And high school Maggie would be totally appalled with me right now. I mean, we aren't dating, I don't even know that we will be dating. Plus, now I'm wondering how I break to him that I'm saving myself for marriage. Like, I hardly know him (wow, this just keeps sounding worse...) and its such an awkward situation to bring up. But it needs to be said sooner rather than later, right? Otherwise it just gets messy and uncomfortable. So anyway, thats my life currently. I can't decide whether I'm happy or want to slow things down. This is how college is supposed to be, so why don't I feel quite right about it? I really really like Ben, but the inner good girl in me is freaking out. And it's not like I'm even doing anything bad... I really just need to chill the fuck out. #welcometomylife